Are you ready to forgive and let go?

Being hurt or let down by somebody can hurt badly and the idea of forgiving them can seem like a tough pill to swallow.  However, there is a direct relationship between your ability to forgive and your own personal wellbeing.

 

Many people think that forgiveness is a gift we give to others and it’s a way of letting them off the hook. The opposite would be true though.  Forgiveness is actually a gift that you give to yourself.  Think about that for a moment….when we hang on to old resentments, the person who most often suffers is you and not the person who ‘did the deed’ against you. When we are bothered by the actions of others in our past we are filled with anger, hate, resentment and emotional pain. All of these emotions are damaging both physically and emotionally and can lead to ill-health, stress, poor relationships, disrupted sleep and a whole host of other issues. Forgiveness is a way to release all of those negative emotions and to begin the healing process. A new way of being can be created- you can feel liberated, lighter and the future can suddenly feel full of exciting opportunity. This is the gift you give yourself.

 

We often talk about forgiving and forgetting. Often the idea of ‘forgetting’ creates a challenge to forgiving somebody who has done us wrong and caused us great hurt.  However, forgiving somebody doesn’t mean that you will forget what they have done to you. It’s just that you have chosen to forgive as a means of self-care. Forgiveness is a way to let go of the wrong that was done to you in the past and prevent it from controlling your life now or in the future.

 

Just because you forgive someone doesn’t mean that you seek to re-establish a relationship with them. In fact, it may be in your best interests to retain a distance with them. You can keep somebody at arms length and yet still reap the benefits of forgiveness.

 

Forgiving is not easy, even for the most enlightened among us. If you’ve been allowing your present health to be controlled by past hurts, we urge you to commit to forgiving. The following steps can help:

 

• Talk to sympathetic friends and family about your desire to forgive. Chatting with others is tremendously comforting.
• Write a letter to the person you’d like to forgive. You can decide whether or not you send it.
• See the situation from the other person’s perspective—your own perspective may change. This doesn’t meant that you give ‘permission’ for them to act the way they have but it enables you to consider what might be going on for them and what might have led them to behave the way they did.
• Don’t forget to forgive yourself. Sometimes we can be harshest with ourselves.
• Understand that you are responsible for your own attitude. Don’t let holding a grudge keep you from feeling free, open, and powerful in your own life.

 

Forgiveness is really an act of self care.  It may be really difficult to forgive and it may take some time but the benefits are many.  Accept the gift you give yourself and be prepared to be amazed.